Daily thoughts, ramblings and confessionals

Ideally I win tonight's Veto, bring Steve down to re-establish trust after telling him to steal my vote during the NTW eviction (sorry my love, I had to be honest with him) and then, we all go into tomorrow with some semblance of unity. Only Sam and Sandra are who I would be worried about winning tomorrow night's HOH. I wouldn't mind anybody else picking it up.

I will be going for it myself but, if there's an opportunity to give the win to Kim, Max, or Steve, that's what I'll be doing. I want to compete at F6 and win that HOH, so that I have the opportunity to compete/win F4 HOH and compete/win F3 HOH. That needs to be my journey from this point. So losing tomorrow night's HOH may actually be in my best interest. Just so long as Samdra don't grab it.

I’m gonna have to skip this HOH because I have no access to anything to create something and that makes me sad

Am I crapping my pants? Yes. Absolutely yes. I'm coming for you Steve, should I survive this...

Steve thinking I won’t nominate his ass should I get the opportunity moving forward hehe god bless

I am so fucking ecstatic to have won that Veto! I was feeling down today after not competing in the HOH and maybe being sent home so I’m just so glad to have taken my fate into my own hands for another round. Now I’ve got an HOH to play in tomorrow that I ideally can win, before manoeuvring through to f4 and then HOPEFULLY f3!

I feel like if I sent Steve home before F4, I'd be the only huge target left in this place. Kim I suppose, if she stays, would also be a big target and maybe Ember... IDK. I just feel like the bullseye has never really left my head in this game and it's only shared equally with Steve. So, if I do win F6 HOH, do I leave him off the block? Because I will undoubtedly be back up on the block at F5. It's a tough one.

I am very conflicted about these nominations. I think despite everything, I really do need to keep Steve here. I'm not nominating Max. I don't want to nominate Ember.

So that leaves Sam and Dorothy. Sam would evict me without a doubt. Dorothy couldn't promise me her vote when I was on the block with Kim. Should one of them come down... then Steve maybe should go up. This is real tough.

I'm actually gonna have a breakdown over these nominations omg. I think it's gonna be Ember and Dorothy now?

Of course Steve won Veto. Why wouldn't he? lmao. Sam is the renom, and Dorothy will go to Jury. Max needs to win tomorrow's HOH. If Ember wins I'm... actually curious to see if she would be true to her word. Just not Steve or Sam winning HOH I beg.

My HOH has gone up in smoke. Sam is going home. Max has been lying to me. Ember is probably gunning for me too even though it feels like she's the only one actually trying to tell me the truth right now. I think my game is close to being over. I need to win the next Veto, let's just say that.

Don’t hit me with that BS on the way out of the door, Sam. Talking to you has always been like watching paint dry other than when you suddenly wake up when there’s a threat of being on the block. FOH.

Lemme logout before I spiral.

I think it just clicked in my head when I was thinking about the reveal party... John is definitely NTW. If John is NTW I'm gonna cry even harder because I loved her so much.

oh look suddenly i'm like fucking kryptonite and nobody wants to touch me I appreciate ember and everyone else can kick rocks

This is my karma for saying my cat died in BBQ9.