Daily thoughts, ramblings and confessionals

Okay I’m not gonna lie, I am really feeling my oats right now. I’ve managed to manoeuvre my way into a space where I think I would be okay with the majority of people winning HOH? I’m making great alliances with both sides of the house and the most important one seems to be with those I have had a hand in nominating or pissing off so, I am so happy with how my game is turning out. I don’t wanna let my foot off the gas for a second because as soon as you do that, craziness starts happening but, I do feel like I can relax for a round or two?

Meanwhile IRL I just finished watching Cruel Summer and omg if you haven’t watched that show, WATCH IT. It’s really good. And I’m mad panic was cancelled after just one season. Also I need to watch hurricane Bianca 2 ASAP

Tell me I'm doing a good job Arisa/Batgirl I need validation quick, rub my EGO.

Are we gonna find out who Batgirl is at the finale? I'm excited.

Cruella coming off the block was expected. Happy in a way to see Kim still up there because, our connection is dropping off slowly and, it means (for now) that only one replacement nominee will have to go up. I think it might be someone like Tony, or Jerry, or Squirt even? If Steve is going after people who genuinely aren't poking their head above the parapet...

My game has changed so much in the past week. My strongest alliance is now the one I've just requested with Jennifer, Ember and Steve. We're all competitors and I think we will all have one another's backs. That's the basket I'm putting all of my eggs in, in any case. It could definitely come back to bite me and, I do think the Jury will be spiteful when I eventually have to show my cards and turn against those who have helped me up to this point. So hopefully I can learn how to navigate that and soften any blows I have to take. It's time to let some other people do the heavy lifting in this game.

You're doing amazing baby <3

As much as I absolutely trust Steve right now, I’m still very nervous about who goes up on the block now he has to make another two picks.

Steve has proven himself time and again to me. We're locked in now, baby. The new alliance of four is so hot, I actually can't stand it. I do think as well, that Steve is making himself a bigger threat than me and so, when the time comes, it'll probably be a trio of girls cutting the guy? Though I'm getting a bit ahead of myself here. We gotta make it to the end, first!

I had an IRL dream last night where we were playing BBQ in virtual reality as our characters, so we were going around a house in the VR looking for clues, trying to win challenges and fucking Arisa Cox was right there telling us what to do. It was amazing. Cocodomol induced dreams are the best LMAO.

Wow, that paranoia sure does hit when you're lying to one of your former closest allies and they end up winning the HOH competition. I am 90% sure this round is going to be an easy one for me where I get to sit back and relax but, all it would take is one of Steve, Ember or Jennifer going to Cruella and telling her that I'm now playing both sides for her to want to take me out and take a swipe at me. I can of course smooth that over with her by explaining that of course I'm talking to them after they didn't nom me last round, but that my priority is her, but it would be more work than I would like to do this round.

I really want to avoid a situation where one of Steve, Ember or Jennifer go home this round. If I had to pick out of the three, I'd send Jennifer out simply because we have spoken the least. Then Ember. I'd probably save Steve given the opportunity. But not publicly with a Veto.

I've officially finished watching From Russia With Hate. A fun movie for sure with some hot men but I definitely preferred the original. There wasn't enough Bianca in this one!

I'm now not convinced the comp tonight will be the movie one but, we'll see. Someone - I think Dorothy - said they think it could be a maze? Not sure how they came to that conclusion unless I'm missing something that's staring me right in the face.

I would love to win tonight's HOH because tomorrow night I'll need to sleep early ahead of my surgery on Friday so, it'd give me an excuse to not be around or as active as I should be if I do need to compete.

Hoping that Kim, Steve, Jennifer or Ember wins tonight if not me. Squirt would also be interesting.

I’m excited that Kim has won an HOH and has to shed some blood! I’m also now becoming less of a target with… pretty much the whole house at this point? I think I’m playing really well and that scares me because if it comes crashing down it’ll hurt worse than ever.

I can say you're living up to our talk pre game & I wish I had them with everyone now. I don't know if my little bit of pep talk/insight helped at all, but I'm enjoying this <3.

Oh you inspired this for sure <3

Kim is starting to get on my last nerve. First it was being given the double vote by Ted that she didn't tell me about; then it was having the Golden Power of Veto that she didn't tell me about; now it's nominating someone in 7th Heaven without telling me why ahead of time. She isn't playing this game with any of my best interests at heart, I know that much. That 'ride to the end' bullshit she spouted earlier on in this game is dead.

Cruella is going home and I'm losing one of my most trustworthy allies. Tony once again is going to survive by a landslide. Can't people now see how dangerous he is, in that he's surviving each time and the vote isn't even close? He needs to go.

Trying to socialise whilst high on pain meds is actually hilarious I have no clue what I’m typing

The way I’m trying not to get emotional because this is just a game but I’m on meds and it hurts to move is making me double upset. I fucking love this game no matter what happens and I’m so glad to have come back. I just know I can do better.