Confessionals

that purge was something else, but i actually loved it. i was 4th to finish the puzzle & 1000 posts, but that movie got me lol the streaming service i was using kept loading so slowly. i also didn't have the subtitles on, which would've helped with the Daddy/Zaddy ordeal lol i also need to know that O/0 & O/Q are two different characters lmao

i knew i got that damn Blaise question wrong when i first was answering questions. i completely missed the "stash house" convo.

but i'm happy to be here! i initially felt uneasy/unprepared, but that purge really woke me up lol

@ me:

i feel as though this game is starting off really slowly. i've got confirmation from different people that i'm not alone in this, but it still feels odd for an all star season. maybe it's the nature of how the game started with no comp the first day, then this purge that has had everyone occupied, then tomorrow there's no challenge. you did say that this would go at a much slower pace, but i'm just not used to it. i'm glad those because it allows for plenty of conversations and i am hoping to use the extra time to my advantage. i am closing out day 2 pretty soon, but i feel bad for those that are still competing in this and especially those that will end up getting nominated anyway.

the great thing is...everyone still competing are people i have not talked or reached out to, nor have they reached out to me. also, i've talked with everyone that finished the comp first so that feels pretty good and hope that benefits my game for the long run. i don't really have a specific strategy coming into this season, i just came here to have fun and do my best. making it on an all star season is a feat in and of itself. we shall see where this game goes, but i am glaaaaad that that purge is over with.

though* not those god dammit

I am afraid that I could be deemed as playing too hard too fast lmao I am hoping not, but I feel like with how slow paced the game has started, people haven't been as active, but on the other hand, I feel like there is no way that people aren't talking to people with it being an All Star season. I don't plan on stressing too hard this season. I came to have fun and I am honored just to be a part of the All Star cast. I want to get as far as I can, but I want to have more fun than stress while playing.

I am debating on whether I want to gun for this first HOH or not. I feel like it could be beneficial to get the least blood on my hands moving forward, but I also know there are really good competitors here, so even if I did gun for it, there's high chances of not winning either way. I think I will end up gunning for it anyway and hope for the best.

EEEEEEK the way i slipped up right now to Rebecca i am being so messy, i really need to chill lmao

Am I allowed to send my vote in here? I don't want to make another topic just for me to post 1 thing in there lol.

I told Debbie she was getting my vote, but I think she has a lot of people doing that already so my vote for HOH is going to Tony Stark.

Yes it's fine

Ok, so the veto just ended and I really hope neither one of the noms on my team won because that would just really complicate everything and I have no idea who would go up. I really need to remember to do the extra ways to earn money, but I am slackingggg it.

I don't even know what to think lol I am talking to so many people, but I am slowly figuring out who I really want to work closely with while trying to maintain speaking to other people.

I really trust Steve. I think Steve is my number 1 in this game.

Followed by Sandra. There's something about Sandra that just seems familiar, and I think we do have similar thoughts when it comes to the game, but I'm sure she is way more connected than she lets on, which is fine.

Jennifer is someone I trust as well, although something that worries me about her is the fact that pretty much everyone I have spoken with has felt and said the same thing about her that I did lmao which only means she's also talking to so many people.

I am having more conversations with Ember and I feel like I really vibe with her as well. She is close with Steve so I know that I want to get closer to her, which means I need to get closer with Max because both Steve and Ember said they were close to him.

there are so many people in the cast and it's hard to keep up lol i think the only person I haven't spoken to is Jerry the Mouse. then i have had the least conversation with Sailor, then Ted, then Matt. Then Webkinz.

For some reason, I do not trust Cruella. I felt close with her when the game first started, but I don't know what it is, but I feel like we've kind of been distant lol

if the noms stay the same, I hope Rebecca goes. i slipped up to her lmao i'm so stupid, but i'm glad Tony targeted her because it benefits me too, as it should.

oh, i lied to Debbie about my vote for the hoh and I wonder if she thinks anything of it lol I feel like she doesn't care because she still became HOH and got the $$, but we shall see.

I need to keep in touch with Dorothy and be open with her too. But I really need to be careful with what I tell people. So far I think I am okay aside from the Rebecca thing.

TBC...

well, i'm glad i won that hoh. we shall see if that was a good reign or not these next few rounds. i am being so messy lol if i sat down and organized who has said they were good with, i feel like i could have a better, more clear picture of who is working with who, but there are still so many of us so it's so hard to tell.

I still want to work closely with Steve, Ember, and I would say Dorothy. Me and Sandra i feel have an understanding with one another and I'm in a few private rooms with her, but she's definitely closer to other than she is with me. But I still feel good with her.

I am trying to work on getting Cruella to open back up to me and play this game with me. I've noticed a switch in her tone and messages in general. she was more open with me today because I was HOH, but i need her to open up to me even when i'm not hoh.

I am also planning on getting closer to Jerry the next few days if I survive them because his performance in the POV was sexy! he mentioned the two of us having a mutual person, so i am going to milk that as much as possible, although i'm still wondering who it could be because nobody has really mentioned Jerry's name when it comes to who people feel good with.

anyway, i need to remember to do a DR everyday and a ranking and all of the other shit. ugh

welp- i'm going up anyway so i'm taking the dare.

sooooooo, i feel like i have a good shot at staying here even if I don't in the veto, but i would rather not take that chance. RIG FOR ME ARISA i feel like people hopefully will understand that 3 weeks of safety is nothing. it would be final 18 and people could very well still come after me at that point for having that safety. i think i can get the votes because Jennifer said she thinks I'm staying either way because she hasn't been too active, BUT when I've asked people who they were good with, Jennifer's name was the name that came up the most so I know she has to be lying. Either way, I think Jennifer doesn't like Debbie so I can use that to get Debbie to keep me, although I feel like she already does want to? She could be blowing smoke, but if Debbie knows Jennifer doesn't like her, then she (hopefully) will try to get her minions to keep me too lmao. we shall see.

votes that I don't think I would have: Webkinz, Squirt, maybe Matt, Kim. I feel like Sandra will want to take me out for some reason. She's been extremely short with me lately, but I know for a fact that bitch has her hands in ALL of the cookie jars. I also think that Negasonic will want to take me out. We shall see.

I'm making this my last sentence for this diary room entry just in case you make us expose ourselves again LMAO

well- i didn't expect myself to be nominated this early in the game, but hey i guess it happens! LOL

i felt pretty safe against Jennifer had we both stayed on the block, even though i know she was connected with everyone. she killed that competition tho, but there's no way she didn't get any help LOL no tea no shade because i could not have finished that that fast without any help like i did   and if she didn't get help, then Jennifer is a comp beast because wtf!!!

i am feeling pretty confident about staying tomorrow. but i don't want to get ahead of myself because anything can happen in this game. i feel like, logically speaking, the people keeping me are keeping me because i am better for their games than Nagisa is. I offer more safety and protection than Nagisa can because I will be a target in front of them, which means I am a shield for them.

i took that dare because i felt like, if i'm going up anyway, why take the risk? i don't understand why these people are so stuck on this 3 round safety i could get if i end up staying because it will be what, final 17? when it expires? that's not even a normal size cast for BB so there's a long game to play. these people forget that this game is a marathon, not a sprint.