Daily thoughts, ramblings and confessionals

Cosmo going home here is actually great for my game, just for the simple fact that despite me believing he's put me nominating him in the past, there still could be some harboured resentment. Still, I can't vote for him to go, so I voted for the frog. I feel like nobody will suspect that rogue vote of being me because the obvious choice is for me to send Cosmo packing. Both my noms going home within 36 of one another? I call that a major success.

Now, I kinda wanna ask both Cosmo and Peach to send me their money but, I'm not sure of the best way to do it without them thinking of exposing my asking to the world in their eviction speeches. I'll think on it...

Not pressing the button was the right decision. I would NOT want to do this at all. I would drop right away and that would make people suspicious. So glad I’m sat out.

I am having the most fun in this ORG! Seriously, I'm just enjoying myself every day. I'm finding humour in everything I post and I am trying to not take things to heart if they end up not going my way. I think I'm doing a good job of socialising and making sure I'm friends with everybody, whilst also ensuring I've got a couple of core alliances that will hopefully keep me safe, deep into this game. That also means I'm gonna have to pull the trigger, should I be lucky enough, later on in the game when Jury is active and get some blood on my hands, but that's Big Brother. No winner is ever 'clean'.

I love this game so, so much. I stayed up until 5am for the Purge - and I enjoyed it. I don't stay up that late for anybody. Not even a super good dick.

Loving this Jerry HOH. Need Jules to stay because I do think she's a good shield for me, being good at comps, but that safety for 3 weeks is super powerful so... IDK. Maybe my other alliances are strong enough that I don't need her here. It's gonna be a tough eviction choice if noms stay the same. But I also WANT noms to stay the same, because if someone comes down, there's always the chance I could sit on the block, and we don't want that.

I feel like I have made my first mistake of the game in evicting Jules. I truly believe she was loyal to me and I am devastated to see her go. I think Nagisa is loyal to me as well, but she's not exactly shown herself to be capable of winning anything, which is vital when we're getting into the bloodiest sections of the game. Hopefully, she's been holding back and in this next round, she will come out swinging. I need to really build on our bond after that vote. Especially with telling people that I voted to keep Jules when I didn't. That could get back to her.

I’m glad I’ve been picked for Veto! If I did win it though, I would want to use it on Matt. Because of that, I feel like I’m going to have to try really hard to come second or third. I don’t want to have to choose between Matt or Ted’s wishes, because I would have to let Matt down and that would hurt me and once again, I’d be decimated as Matt made his way out of the house (if he went.)

Ideally, noms stay the same and web goes home. The frog is really sweet but we don’t chat much, if any game at all. He also slipped up telling me he was having a conversation with someone about the Jules fallout. He sent me a msg where he was basically defending Sandra to whomever he was having that conversation with. Why not defend me? Because he doesn’t care if I stay in this game. So he has to go.

Ted's bombshell before going to sleep, that some people are bringing up my name as a potential target in future rounds, is something that now has me completely anxious and on edge. I can't believe he dropped that bomb on me then decided we would talk about it 'tomorrow' because he was tired! Give me some names and then go to sleep; don't drip-feed the info to me and let me panic about it for a solid half a day beforehand!

Steve using the Veto on frog was really weird but, I think it very obviously showed that they are working together and, they're probably in a much larger alliance with a few people from 'the other side', aka some of the people that weren't called out by Jules.

It's really odd to me that Jules' game is the one that some people seem to be playing. The focus STILL on what she said and who she said it about is really unbelievable. I need that to fuck off so I can get back to playing my game, being sociable and winning when I need to. I really think I might need the next HOH and with that, I will draw a mighty line in the sand.

Yes, I did just lie my way to some true information. Dorothy throwing my name out is concerning but, I truly do want to keep her around for now. So, I did my best to put her target on someone else; namely Steve. Negasonic told me that Steve had told her, he wished Ted had nominated people who were called out by Jules - which is hilarious because Negasonic is one of those people.

So, with Dorothy being quiet the past couple of days and, both her and Steve falling on the 'other' side of the house, I wanted to sow some divide. Right now, it feels like it's worked. Am I an evil genius? Yes, I just might be.

Winning two HOH competitions so close together wasn't in my initial plans but, it's something that had to be done because my name had been in people's mouths as a potential target. Once again I have to moan and complain that people are playing Jules' game despite her eviction now being a couple of cycles ago and honestly, it's frustrating as Hell. We're in All Stars and nobody wants to make their own big moves; they're simply going with the flow. Everybody's playing a scared and careful game. I wanna see some major moves and power plays! But unfortunately, taking me out seems to have fallen into THE power play list of moves to do.

My nominations were pretty self-explanatory. Steve is my target and if I win Veto, I'll take the frog down and put Sam up so at least one of my two targets right now goes home. I don't feel good about it because I've actually made some progress with Sam today but, I'm under no illusions that this is happening simply because I'm HOH. If I hadn't won and I found myself on the block for example, would he be so willing to talk to me? Doubtful.

Getting this written before the comp starts! Whoever keeps disliking my posts is UGLY. Anyhow, tonight has me shook because I’m not in charge of my own destiny, as I can’t compete. My money is low and I’m feeling like I’ve got a lot of hustling to do if I’m to make it through this round. If someone from ‘the other side’ wins this one, I don’t even think I’ll get to compete in the veto unless it’s by chance, which is a scary thought. It’s exactly what I did to Sam and I do not want to be in that position. I think if I do go on the block and remain there, I’m done. I will campaign my ass off but, it will be a major uphill battle.

Excited to see what craziness you’ve cooked up for this HOH!

Being up on the block before the Jury phase of the game is honestly traumatising. I hate it so much. I know there is a very real possibility I go home this round and because of that, I'm devastated. In fact, I think it's probably what's the most likely outcome of this round right now.

Despite that, I'm not giving up fighting. I have just had an incredible conversation with Steve where we recognised one another as competitors in this game. I don't know if I trust anybody else in this game at this point, but with Steve, everything now feels genuine. Like we had a fight and then started making out and promised one another safety until at least Jury, if not deeper.

We both realise that we are fighting hard this season and because of that, our games actually complement one another. We will take out those who are hoping to get others to do their dirty work and continue to advance in this game. I just hope I can make it through this round so that we can put our plans into motion because, I don't think a single person in this house would see it coming.

I was feeling confident with Veto last night but, after Cruella shared her pitch, I do think she may win this one. Whoever sits next to me, I think it'll be someone out of the 7th Heaven group which means, we're gonna have to do some work, quickly, to grab the DPOV and take both of ourselves off the block.

Fuck Jennifer and her HOH. She's a rat.

Another day, another comp win! Am I *actually* a comp beast this season? I dig it. I'm so happy to have won that. I had a horrible feeling I was going to come last and i was gonna be so upset because I'm literally a writer in my real life LMAO, so I am ecstatic to have won that on a personal level and even happier that I get to stay in this game for at least another round and make some of these bitches' lives Hell.

The way I'm gonna fully gun for the next HOH and if I win, nominate Ember/Jennifer because they're not allowed to nominate me back before Jury phase as well <3

Not really a big fan of how that round went down but, as Arisa mentioned in the sign-off, the round likely wouldn't have gone any differently even without the baseless accusations. Still, I think once someone's gone and out of the game, unless you have solid proof of their cheating, you should keep your mouth shut. NTW really let herself down today, and I'm unsure that's somebody I want to play with much deeper into the game.

As for Tony? The man's playing like a rat. I feel he may be Moe, with all of the different alliances he's trying to bash his way into. The fact he told Jennifer she was his number one whilst pushing for us to use as many powers as possible to ruin her HOH is insane to me. Ember also told me that he is acting like he had no idea the DPOV was going to be used - this after he was the one who came up with the entire plan DAYS ago. He is sneaky and, I want him gone but, I've gotta play nice until I get the opportunity to send a vote his way.

As for tonight's HOH... smells like an endurance. That just ain't for me, and they never will be whilst I'm in the UK lmao. It starts at 1am my time. I'm gonna be passed out by 2am.

In the real world, I have a scan at 7pm my time (2pm EST) and they're injecting me with some dye to check out my bowels or some shit so that's gonna be fun. So if I'm a little less active than usual this afternoon, that's why.

Love you, Arisa.

Oh and you too, Batgirl.

NTW confirming she still 'has a soft spot for Tony' despite him obviously being up to something with these random ass messages in public threads. I should not have joked with her about putting him up on the block. Hmm.

I still don’t understand why people appear as hidden when they play these games. It just makes them look shady! Excited for Steve to likely win this HOH if he is going to be true to his word, which I’m confident he is. It’s time we took out some floaters because there are plenty of us who are more deserving of making Jury, let’s be honest.

Dorothy has been quiet these past couple days. I don’t trust her so, yeah. I need to hit ember up again and see how she’s doing. I want that bond to rebuild. Same with Jennifer. Honestly, it’s been kinda nice though just relaxing this past day whilst everyone is hammering through this task. I really HAVE been working so I’ve not just been sat on my ass but, it’s been nice to not be in game mode 24/7, if that makes sense.